Well another year has passed and I'm getting older! I may have the gray hairs and wrinkles to show that I am, but if you ask me sometimes I don't feel much older than 18! We have just come home from a lovely family night out at Olive Garden (I am stuffed!!!) and I am in a reflective mood. Driving home from the restaurant I was thinking just how much has happened in one year and how far I have come as a woman. This time last year we had just found out that we were expecting Kemi and I was truly 'freaking out' about becoming a mother of another child. I didn't know how I could do it, and to tell you the truth I was scared. At that time in my life I felt completely out of my depth and I couldn't see how I was going to do it. The news about Kemi's imminent arrival came at a time of major changes and life decisions for us as a family and for a moment I felt as if God had taken His hand away from us. The few days I lived thinking that God didn't want the best for us and that He didn't really want to help us were the scariest few days of my life. I lived with out hope and that is no way for anyone to live. I came out of my hole after a few days - God in all His love and mercy pulled me out and helped me focus on Him again - I know I can't go back there again, life with out Jesus is no life at all.
Fast forward twelve months and I am a completely different person. The journey that we have been on this last year has deepened my relationship with Jesus, has solidified the trust I have in Him and has helped me find my peace in the storms of life. I have learnt that all things are indeed possible through Him and that He really doesn't give us more than we can handle. I have lived this past year learning that all I need to do is to trust Him and let Him lead me and I will make it! It's not just having that fourth child - we've been through a lot as a family and a couple, things that at the time looked insurmountable, but now looking back it is clear that God was taking us through those challenges to grow us.
As I begin my 35th year on this earth I can truly say that I am content. I am becoming all God has created me to be. I am living my life with purpose, I am happy with who I am and I know that God has an awesome plan for the rest of my life. I wouldn't change thing about this past year despite it's difficulties - I wouldn't be who I am today if we hadn't been through all we have.
